Not really... But sometimes I wonder? We have moved Claire into a toddler bed. She has been asking for a princess bed ever since I was doing some window shopping online and she saw me looking at toddler bedding sets. We got her this one.
Character bedding is something we never had as kids. I remember when I was 5 I had a friend with yellow Holly Hobbie bedding on a canopy bed and I was so envious.
Anyway, bedtime has become more of a challenge than I had bargained for. I wanted to wait until Noel was sleeping through the night (that's right -he still wasn't) before I changed the crib over into a toddler bed. Claire never tried to escape from her crib - she is just getting too heavy for me to lift in and out all the time and we want to take potty training more seriously. She was doing so well sleeping in her own bed at Grandma and Grandpa Daniels' house. So we decided to make the change over.
Bedtime routine had been going like this:
Step 1. Bath
Step 2. Song
Step 3. Family Prayer
Step 4. Claire - story time with Daddy / Noel -story time and nursing with Mommy
Step 5. Lullaby and good night
Now it goes the same only now we have revised Step 5 and added a Step 6, 7, and 8:
Step 5. Potty time for Claire -usually unsuccessful
Step 6. Lullaby and good night w/ Daddy (repeat as needed)
Step 7. Claire comes out of her room and asks for water - repeat step 6 with Mommy
Step 8. Claire comes out of room again and asks to go potty - sometimes successful - sometimes just wet and needs to be changed.
Then we start taking away toys if she comes out - because she sleeps with two favorite blankets and three favorite toys. She is usually covered by a mountain of blankets and toys when she finally falls asleep. If she gets a toy taken away she usually cries loud enough to wake up her brother - then I have to calm him down and sometimes it goes as far as having to nurse him again. And Aaron is going to grad school and we are going to attempt a two bedroom? We may have to rethink that.
Claire has gotten up in the middle of the night and come into our room a couple of times. She walks right up to Aaron and gets in his face and whispers - "Daddy." Practically scares the pajama bottoms right off of Aaron!
Noel was still waking at midnight and then again at 3 or 4am to scream and wake-up the whole apartment building if I didn't nurse him.
Last Wednesday I had just about had it. It was about 3 in the morning and Noel would not go back to sleep even after I had already been up with him for an hour and had nursed him. When I got back to bed, Aaron said something about not having anymore kids if they are going to deprive us of sleep for the first year of life. We could hear Noel crying in the back ground again. I went back to try to put him back to sleep. He just cries more. I've had it. I put him down and let him scream. I left the apartment -of course I had to slam the door to add drama - and went for a walk in my pajamas and bare feet. This is not adult behavior, I realize, but the lack of sleep had turned me into something sub-human. I muttered to myself for a few steps, then calmed myself down and started to pray.
I have been feeling so alone in my parenting with the baby. Aaron is so helpful - but during the night I feel guilty asking him for help since he gets up so early. Claire slept through the night at six months. Noel will be a year old in a couple of weeks. What is the deal??!!!!
So, back to my prayer during my walk Wednesday morning. I prayed for help. I prayed for strength. I prayed that Aaron wouldn't think I was crazy and that it would be possible for us to have more children without going completely insane. When I got back to the apartment, Aaron was with Noel, rocking him, soothing him. He eventually went back to sleep. Aaron thought that the neighbors had yelled something at us and that I had gone to 'discuss it' and was getting my face rearranged. He had been worried. He wasn't angry. He was actually happy to see me and thought that it was kind of funny that I was in a huff outside in my bare feet.
I found a scripture later that night that gave me a lot of help: Mosiah 10: 10-11
10 And it came to pass that we did go up to battle against the Lamanites; and I, even I, in my old age, did go up to battle against the Lamanites. And it came to pass that we did go up in the astrength of the Lord to battle.
11 Now, the Lamanites knew nothing concerning the Lord, nor the strength of the Lord, therefore they depended upon their own strength. Yet they were a strong people, as to the astrength of men.
I am not a strong person. I never really have been. But on my mission I learned a little something about the strength of the Lord. He really can step up your game so to speak if you just let him. I had to learn to rely on him then. I need to learn how to do that again. I have been feeling that every day has been a battle lately. A battle to get up in the morning - to get a shower - to get out of the apartment - things that seemed like no biggie before -are excruciating. I feel like a baby myself. So many around me have so much more that they are going through and I have a hard time with lack of sleep from a crying baby? I remember wanting my babies so badly all through my twenties. I finally have them - why am I not jumping for joy 24/7?!
Anyway, I am learning to pray for strength every morning and to rely on the Lord. I'm learning to turn off the T.V and the computer more and ponder what the Lord would have me do to take care of his children. They are HIS children. He wants me to be successful in my parenting - He is all-wise and perfect - doesn't that include being the perfect parent? Why wouldn't He know what to do to help Noel sleep better at night? I just had to ask Him and listen for answers and follow His directions. I am never alone.
Things are going better. We've been trying to get Noel to go down earlier and trying new foods. We are spending more time with him and putting more of an effort into it, rather than using nursing as the fix all. The last week Noel has slept through the night most nights. Claire is staying in bed and taking naps more regularly. I feel sanity returning as well as the energy I need to get out and enjoy our days together. Hopefully more moments like those pictured above are on their way. And less torture by sleep deprivation...
6 comments:
Thanks for this post. It was something I needed to hear and will be needing even more in the coming months. My 4 year old will not stay in bed at night (he's been in a bed for 2 years) and comes out every night multiple times with multiple excuses. I also face the prospect of trying to get my 2 year old to sleep in a bed at some point in the next few months so the baby can have the crib. Your post was a good reminder for me that I can get help with the frustrations of parenting if I will just ask.
Amen! So glad to know I'm not the only one who feels that way sometimes (too many times.) Thank you for sharing.
So true. Thanks Sarah. I can also relate to Aaron's "We're not having any more kids comment." I think I've mumbled a few of those.
Something that really helped with Ben leaving his room was when we put one of those child-proof doorknob protectors on the inside of his door. We started right after the transition to big kid bed because he kept leaving his room -- it became a joke to him. It became kind of a necessity too once Ben learned how to unlock and open the front door, so Chelsea and I didn't feel so bad about it. We felt a little sheepish about it until we heard from a couple parents who did the same thing. We explained to Ben why it was there and told him he needed to stay in his room. Recently, it was able to come off and Ben stays in his room without a problem at night and comes out in the morning.
Thanks so much for posting this:) I very often feel myself going through the same things and it was just what I needed to hear. Thanks for you good example!
Yes, parenting can be hard some times but you did the right thing getting out of there and seeking some clarity. I just scream at the top of my lungs in frustration, that just makes everybody cry. Sigh...
If you were in Delaware we would be so close and I could help... not at night though...
hey, yeah that was a great post. i never usually check up on the blogs but have recently been adding to mine. i understand that sometime you just can't take it anymore and have to get seperate, regroup, and just come back. i read this after hours in the office and just balled. asking for strength applies in so many situations and lovely scripture, i did need that too!!! love ya!
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